Chapter 64 BONUS CHAPTER 1 LORIK POV “I forgive you.” The words charged atlike a sharp dagger that gatecrashed through my heart leavingbreathless. Heat rose from my neck and settled just right above my head, creating a cloud of intense self-loathing that made my ears deaf. With blurred vision, | watched as she slowly sashayed out of the damp dense cellar where | was chained.
My eyes followed her movements until she was out of view. My mind reeled with all sorts of thoughts recalling all the evil things | have committed. She had forgiven me, despite everything I had done to her. She forgaveand bathedclean, after being tortured by my son for how long... Heck, | didn’t even know how long | have in here without food, water, let alone taking a bath. | reeked of death and all the things | have done in my past. Vernero always brought him a small bite of protein bar just to keepalive, nothing more than that. | was famished, my throat so patched it felt like it was burning. In my darkest moment where | felt life slipping through my fingers, Leigh-Ari gavewater to drink and quenched my thirst.
Good lord, had | been wrong all these years? Was | wrong to want what's best for my sons? Was | wrong to uproot things that would bring them distraction? | just wanted what was best for them. | never wanted my sons to end up as low lives with nothing to do. | wanted to pave a way for them, to sharpen them and make them unstoppable, and they were exactly what | had hoped. What wrong did | commit in doing all that? A lone tear escaped my eye and drizzled down my cheek. | couldn't even believe what had just happened. When I saw her, | thought she cin here to laugh at my face, to tormenteven further and tellhow much of a failure | was, how weak and pathetic | am. That's what | had hoped for. Because at least | wouldn't have felt so shitty like | was.
My heartfelt lighter, it was at that moment it dawned tothat | needed her forgiveness. | needed Leigh-Ari to forgivefor all | have done to her. Her forgiveness was what madelook forward to my death without regret, not because | was running away from all my sins, but because | was redeemed and ready to receive my befitting punishment.
I have hurt the only people | tried to protect, and there was no way | could ever undo all the things I did to them.
But out of all the fiasco, Leigh-Ari suffered the most. She didn’t even have to forgive me. Heck! Even if she cursedand toldto rot in hell, | wouldn't cry and raise a ruckus, | deserved it. | was sp unworthy of her forgiveness, but she chose to forgivenonetheless.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtThat madefeel so pathetic and low like | have never felt in all my life.
An image of Elaia flashed through my mind like a tape recorder in slow motion. Her hazel eyes and pearly white teeth with a smile that could brighten up the whole world, she had been the most beautiful girl | have ever laid my eyes on. And instead of cherishing her and thanking her for the wonderful gifts she gave me, | killed her. She gavea reason to live, she gavetwo sons, but | didn’t give her the credit she deserved. | whipped her every minute of her days, cursed her, | could literally see the angry lash marks on her porcelain skin. Despite everything | did to her, she still chto me, to our sons, to us.
And then | killed her. With my own hands, | killed her. The look on her face when she gave out her last breath flashed even slower. At that moment | had her lean body between my legs, straddling her, with my hands squeezing tight on her throat, preventing all the air from entering her body and leaving. | remembered as she tried to fightoff, hitting my arms and trying to pry my hands off her neck with her small delicate hands, but | didn’t budge.
I had throttled her until her face turned purple, her eyes had pleaded with me, as she silently begged forto get off from her, but | didn’t. Gosh, | killed her. she didn’t last long. She becweaker until her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body went limp. I didn’t let go. Even when her arms dropped to her sides | just held on tight. And my beautiful Elaia died. The mother of my sons died and | had killed her.
| didn’t deserve Leigh-Ari’s forgiveness. | didn’t.
Soft murmurs echoed around the stone walls as Lorenzo and Vernero emerged to where they had gone off to after being dismissed by their girl. The way they let her control them always puzzled me. My boys took orders from no man, but one word from Leigh-Ari had them on their knees, submitting to everything she said. That never went well with me. | hated the idea of my boys being weak, being controlled by someone else. But that little girl knew just the right words to say to them and they would do whatever she wanted.
Was that how it is supposed to be like? To be controlled by a woman like that? To be ordered around like a headless chicken? Was | supposed to let Elaia controlas Leigh-Ari did with the boys? | guess we'll never know.
| watched as the boys drew closer towards me, Enzo had his eyes on his feet as they conversed slowly. They halted and then looked up the stairs where Leigh-Ari had taken off to, their voices were so low, so full of admiration and adoration and pure appreciation whenever they talked about Leigh-Ari. | don’t know what that was, but | bet you my rotten life it was love. They loved her, they always did. And | hurt her.
“See you up.” Enzo gave his brother a small hug and then climbed up, without much of a glance at my side or even a word. | longed to hear his voice, | longed for him to talk toand call“pops” like he used before | sent him to the US. And how long it has been! as | waited and waited with my breath hitched, for his voice to callout, but what | heard was the sound of his footsteps as he climbed up the cold, stone stairs, leavingbehind. He hated me. And | had myself to blfor all of that. My head felt so heavy that it just dropped between my shoulders. Verzi’s steps were all | could hear as he took steps towards me, then stood right in front of me, removing the chair from sight.
“She may have forgiven you, but | haven't. Because you didn’t raiselike that.” He informed in a plain voice, so raw and empty of any emotion. It hurts! Goodness, it hurts so bad.
This is what | had wanted, this is what | had hoped for, why did it hurt like this? Why did it feel like someone had my heart in their fist, and they were angrily clenching on it with each passing second, painfully squeezing all the blood out? Why? Had | treated him better, had | accepted him as the small, soft, and mild boy, so full of life and always supercharged, would things be this way? The image of his toothy grin flashed in my mind, the day he had ctoholding a toad in his hands, so happy about it. The smile on his face when his mother gifted him a bunny.
He had looked atwith a huge grin and then laughed out loud, he had been so happy.
“Do you remember Stickas?” | asked facing down, my eyes shut close because | couldnt bring myself to look at him. I didn’t even deserve looking at his face to see all the damage | had done to him! “Hmmm. How can | forget him? You forcedto eat his flesh remember?” He spat stepping from my line of sight.
“Your mother gifted it to you.” I ignored his biting spite and focused on something | needed to say.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm“I know. And then you killed her right after. It was my fault for existing. Had | not been there, maybe she'd still be alive.” He intoned causingto raise my head abruptly. Words seemed t o be stuck in my throat as | watched him cleaning his dagger so unhurriedly, his face was still blank, and | so wanted to know what he was thinking.
But one thing that madefeel like a dick head was that he blamed himself. He blamed himself for his mother’s death. All these years, Vernero carried the burden of guilt, and | caused all that. But what madewant to lose my medulla was the fact that | never knew! Heavens what have | done? “It wasn’t your fault,” | said plainly and let the tears pour down my face. Gosh, it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know anything, he was a child, a lovely child who knew nothing.
“Then whose fault was it? Yours? | remember you screaming at her that she’s spoiling me. And that makes it my fault. Everything that has happened, to mom, to my brother, to Tesoro, you did all because you hated me.” He shrugged off casually, making my heart sink even further.
“It’s not like that. It was never your fault son. You were never at fault.” My shoulders shook as a sob wretched through me. He didn’t reply, he didn’t have to. Vernero was one child who suffered the most. | knew intimately how | tortured him. Now when death was right in fronto fme, | saw how stupid | was. And Vernero, my poor boy becthe victim of my stupidity. He suffered so much and 1 did all that. All | ever did to him was take, and take, and take until he had nothing more to give. Even when it was to that extent, | still took from him. Until | completely took his being, and he blamed himself. How can | be so horrible? “I am sorry son. | am so sorry. For everything.” | intoned through a sob. | didn’t need his forgiveness, | didn’t deserve it. Even if he chose not to forgive me, | wouldn't blhim.
“Hmmm! | am sorry too. That | was never what you wanted.” He said and walked towards him. He stood in front ofand lifted my head with the sharp blade of the dagger, causing its sharp edge to bite on the smooth skin under my chin.
“You suck Lorik. You are the cruelest monster this world could ever have. You killed me. You killedcompletely because you hated me. No amount of forgiveness could ever redeem your forsaken heart. Heck, even the devil himself is going to deny you. That's how rotten you are. Not even the devil would want you in his abode.” He yelled in my face, his words piercing so deep insideI felt like | was going to lose my mind. My whole body felt like it was being consumed by this raging fire that burneddeep to my core. At that moment, | felt hell. | knew hell was real, and | was in hell.
“Hold on to Leigh-Ari. Love her the way | failed to love your mother.” | said in a small voice. M y heart shattered even further when a lone tear drizzled down his eye.
He didn’t reply, instead, he pulled back his hand and then hurriedly jammed the dagger through my ribcage, all the way to my heart. My eyes stayed glued to his face as he twisted itt o the side, causing it to dive even further and rapture my heart. Blood gushed out of my mouth as seconds ticked by. | felt life running through my fingers like smooth sand, my vision gave out, and my tongue becheavy in my mouth.
“So... S-sorry.” The words escaped my mouth, and they were responded to by a loud, tormented, tortured, and pained scream from my beloved son. His cry accompaniedto the afterlife!