12. Anxious heart
Rowan
“Sir? Is there anything you need me to get for you from the restaurant?” My secretary
asks, but I continue
staring outside my office window.
The view was really great. It was one of the reasons why I chose it, but today it didn’t offer
me the
tranquility it usually does.
“No. Not today,” I answer without looking at her.
“Okay then, I’ll be back in thirty minutes”
I don’t answer her and after a few seconds I hear the door closing. I sigh in frustration. For
some reason
the feeling of foreboding clung to me. It surrounded me in waves. Today more so than the
previous days.
I don’t know what it is, but my heart is anxious. I can’t settle nor can I fucking focus. It’s
like my soul is
trying to tell me something, but I can’t figure out what.
Trying to distract myself, I think about Ava and our talk. I get her. Damn do I get her
hesitation. I’ve spent
more than ten years drilling into her that Emma was the only woman I’ll ever love.
I did everything in my power to show her just how little I cared for her. I’ve spent nine
years punishing her
for something that was beyond her control. I drilled into her head that I hated her with
every fiber of my
being.
How then could I turn around and claim to love her?
It’s frustrating as hell, but I understand her. I understand her reluctance to believe me. If
the roles had
been switched I wouldn’t have believed it so easily.
Apart from all that, I also have to consider the pain I’ve caused her. Nine years of pain and
mistreatment isn’t something you get over within a day or week. Hell. It will probably take
years to heal the wounds i
inflicted. 2
The scars will remain with her though and considering the damage I caused, I can’t help
but wonder if
she’ll ever forgive me.
I want her. I want her in my life. I want to build a life with her. I crave that more than
anything, but if she doesn’t take me back, then let it be so. I’ll have no one to blame but
myself. It will be my penance for the
hurt I’ve caused over the years.
I try to focus on her. To focus on her beautiful face and tactics I could use to get her to
take me back, but
I’ve never felt this way before. Never had this unshakable feeling like something bad was
going to happen. I try to assure myself, but it doesn’t work. I stand up and start pacing
again. I felt wired. Like I was going
crazy.
I run my hand through my hair, probably messing it up, but I don’t fucking care. Not when
I feel like my fucking heart was being squeezed by a tight fist.
I turn on the TV. Maybe hearing other people’s voices will help me calm down. It was
better than listening to my own since it was distorted, jumbled and confused the hell out
of me.
I don’t know for how long I stood pacing through the room when my door opened. I turn to
find Gabe. He looked like hell froze over. He was breathing heavily, his eyes looked
bloodshot and there was worry and
anguish in them.
I still in my tracks. Fuck. My brother is usually impeccable and not easily fazed. We share
that trait as twins. If he looks anything other than that then something serious must be
wrong.
“What is it?” I ask as my heart rate picks up.
Fuck was it our parent’s? Maybe Noah?
“Ro…” he starts but doesn’t finish his sentence. His voice was mixed with pain.
“Fuck, Gabe. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it mom or dad?”
I see him swallow, before his eyes focus on me.
“It’s Ava” he finally says.
I’m about to ask him what’s wrong with Ava when an unrecognizable voice mentions her
name. I begin to
turn in the direction of the TV.
“Please, Rowan…don’t watch it, focus on me” My brother begs me, but I don’t pay
attention to him.
I needed to know what the hell the reporters have to say about Ava.
BREAKING NEWS.
The headlines written in big, bold letters.
“News just in, Member of the Sharp family and founder of The Hope Foundation was today
gunned down by unknown people. We are yet to know the state she’s in, but the gunman
opened fire to what seems to be a hit targeted at her. The video you’re about to watch
maybe disturbing to some”
2/4
+15 BONUS
I feel my knees weaken, but nothing could have prepared me to watching the woman I
love being shot
multiple times
The video showed Ava as she was walking out of an ice cream shop. Her eyes were
downcast and she
had a small frown on her face. Whoever took the video captured a black SUV with tinted
windows speed
in her direction. Just before the drove past her, a masked person, rolled the window down
just enough to
fit the gun, before shooting several times. They sped past her, leaving Ava to crumble on
the ground in a
pool of blood
The video ends, and the presenter comes back on.
“We are yet to establish why these gangsters would shoot a pregnant woman, but stay
tuned as we try to
find out.”
She proceeds to talk about the damage to the shop and how two other people were
injured, but that doesn’t concern me. My focus was Ava. I couldn’t erase the image of her
body lying motionless in a pool of her own blood from my mind
“Rowan?” I hear his voice but it doesn’t registers.
Nothing fucking registers in my head. I felt so fucking broken I felt lost. My heart was
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmfractured to tiny
pieces. How am I supposed to survive if something happens to her?
“Ro…”
His hand on my shoulder makes me jump into action.
“I need to go to her…I need to see her” I struggle to say against the waves of emotions
that were choking
1. me.
I don’t wait to hear what he says, before I am out of my office door. I rush down the
corridor towards my
private elevator. My employees stare at me in confusion. I probably looked like a deranged
person, but I
don’t give a damn.
Jumping to the elevator, I key it in for the underground parking. My need to see her
intensified with every
bit of my heart.
I got underground and immediately rushed to the reserved parking space. My car was
there and so was
Gabe’s.
I struggled to unlock the doors. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t stop the tremble no
matter what.
The keys fell out of my grip, frustrating me even further.
Fuck” I yell, kicking the tire in anger, fear and frustration.
+15 BONUS
Bending down, I pick the keys and manage to unlock the doors. I had my hand on the
handle, about to open it when a hand stopped me.
I turn around pissed off, about to lash out when his voice stops.
“I’m not about to let you fucking drive while you’re in this state” he says before pushing
forward his hand. ” Give me the keys, I’ll take you to the hospital.”
I deflate and hand him the keys. He was right. I wasn’t in the right mental state to drive
anywhere. The last thing Noah needed is to have both parents in the hospital.
I get in and Gabe starts the car, all the while praying that Ava was okay because I don’t
how I’ll survive if I
were to lose her.
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